having a body has always been a struggle for me. (there are a lot of reasons for this, but i don’t need to go into them now.) today this body is thirty-two years old, which feels most of the time like an impossibility.
i always think of bodies when i pull from the suit of pentacles. it’s not the only thing the suit is connected with (money, career, earthy physical things like that) but it’s always the first on my mind. i imagine that’s because they’re what i struggle with.
today, though, as i said, i am thirty-two and i feel good, despite everything. despite all the ways my body feels like it’s failing me as it ages. despite the news. despite america. last night my friends dressed up like characters from the wicked + the divine and squeezed into a private karaoke booth and we sang our hearts out. i felt so celebrated and so loved.
the ace of pentacles - like all aces in tarot - is about beginnings, which feels like an appropriate thing to be writing about on my birthday. as troubled as i may be by aging, i love birthdays. i have long been a collector of new years, and what is a birthday but a new year?
darlings, this week let’s think about what we are doing to nourish ourselves and our bodies. let’s ground ourselves in nature, in rivers and trees and mountains. let’s look for beginnings, wherever we may find them.
(and, ps, thank you, dear reader, for subscribing to my little newsletter. i am so grateful that you signed up to receive my words each week, truly.)