the world
i joked the other night about being fairly well-adjusted, all things (i.e., traumas) considered, but it’s also not a joke. after my first session with my second therapist, who i was seeing specifically to deal with past trauma, i shuddered. she noticed and remarked that it was a good sign, that there were people who couldn’t even get to that stage.
i am thinking about trauma these days - well, okay, i think about trauma a lot because of my past, but right now it is especially because i am reading the body keeps the score, after having seen it brought up on social media several times in several different places. it’s a fascinating read, discussing the effect of trauma on the body.
somehow, i emerged whole. or, i don’t want to lie: i did not emerge whole. i emerged broken, and i did the hard work of re-integrating myself afterward. it’s a process that has taken years, and will continue for the rest of my life. but even when the cracks show, i’m whole now.
when the world shows up for us, it’s not saying to us that the journey is over, though it is at the end of the fool’s journey. it’s asking us to consider what makes us feel whole, what makes us feel integrated into ourselves.
this week, darlings, be gentle with yourselves. try to think of the next step to being your whole self. you got this.
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this week’s deck: sasuraibito tarot
this week’s bauble: an antique toy snake an ex got for me