one month from today, i will have surgery to remove a large uterine fibroid that i have been living with for four and a half years. i am, frankly, terrified to do so, even though i am very eager to be rid of martha (yes, of course i named it). part of it is the surgery itself, and the hospital visit, but part of it is also that i will need to rely on my dear friends. there is no way for me to go it alone.
despite my libra placements, which love being in relationship, i hate having to rely on other people. (blame my chart ruler, mars in capricorn.) so much of my adult life has been built in order to facilitate my solitude and self-reliance. i live, alone, in a place where i can walk to pretty much anything i need. sure, sometimes i carpool with friends to go hang out (less these days, of course) but that feels different. if all i needed was rides to appointments, that would be one thing. instead, a friend will be staying with me for at least a week, because i won’t be able to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.
i love my friends so fucking much, and i am so grateful that everyone i have told about the surgery has demanded that i let them help me in some way, but not going it alone is going to be a challenge.
(there is more i could say here, about how that mars in capricorn i mentioned is going through a pluto transit, which means that the planets it squares are also going through it, and the way that my teacher also had a pluto transit that ended with surgery, and everything that such a transit signifies, but perhaps another day.)
the three of cups celebrates that kind of community, though, the kind where dear friends take care of each other. it’s a card i love far more than the typically-more-romantic two of cups. friendship is such a gift, and i wish it on all of you, this week and beyond, my darlings.
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this week’s deck: personal space tarot
this week’s gems: rose quartz, amethyst
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